For as long as I can remember, I have had to fight the feeling of being inadequate. When I am called on to do something whether it is speaking in front of people, praying out loud, or coming up with ideas for major projects, I start to feel my anxiety rise. I recently had to write my bio and I struggled with finding the words to say about myself and the things I have accomplished and been involved in. You would think that should be easy right? I mean after all I am just talking about my accomplishments and my passions. Well, unfortunately that was not the case for me.
The fear of failing and years of insecurities has caused me to set limitations on myself. I do not want to face the criticism and other blows that come along with not meeting my goals or fulfilling the requirements set before me. I also fear possible rejection and do not want to face the shame and embarrassment if things do not work the way I plan them. However, I do realize this is a part of my growth and maturity, so I choose to push aside the negative and move forward.
I sometimes do not realize the potential I have until I am challenged to do something that takes me out of my comfort zone. When the pressure is mounting, I realize it is bigger than me and that I need help. It is moments like this that I seek God and admit my dependence on him. My pride is then broken and that opens me up to receive His help.
After the squeeze and petition to God for help, I do it. Afterwards I feel a sense of relief and fulfillment and I realize it was not as hard as I was making it out to be. The pressure from the squeeze was what I needed to bring out God’s best in me. I grasp the fact that I am adequate and I can do anything as long as I continue to lean on God for strength and guidance.